My Year of Transformation: Healing, Family, and New Beginnings

Sanguine (adj.): optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation, as in: his sanguine attitude followed him into this new phase of life.

I’m amazed at the ability of the human body to heal itself. So much has gone on in my yearlong absence. There’s been a lot of activity, a lot of healing and some amazing travels. I’m thrilled at the progress in my wellness. Thank God for the Apple Watch! I got the will to exercise again. I had to start off real slow. I wasn’t aware of how weak my body had become. Enter the Hume scale! I can see where my muscle mass is lacking and where fat is shacking up in my body. I’m glad that I’ve committed to going to my happy place at the beach to take long morning walks. Some days I’ll go hiking in Kenneth Hahn Park just to catch the scenery of the other side of LA. The clean air and sunshine is as therapeutic as the physical benefits of exercise. My next step is to start pumping iron again. I have a picture on my desk of me in my 20’s, where I’m looking a lil’ bit swole, for inspiration.

When people see me they say I’m looking healthy. I’m getting there, but it’s an uphill climb. I’m mentally in a better space. I had to shed my skin and become a whole new version of me. It’s a painful process, more painful than physical pain. I underwent a character assessment of epic proportions. It involved emotion wrenching insights. These insights revealed the realities of the nature of people in my time of greatest need.

Now, the worst is behind me. I have renewed energy towards building my body back from oblivion. I also enter a new phase of resilience this year.

My mom, the bearer of yours truly, turned 92 years old on January 1. It’s a blessing to know that longevity rules in our genes. Nonetheless, the curse of living to such a grand old age is the quickness of changes in life as one knows it. Life can transform rapidly. The start of any illness is debilitating. Unfortunately for my mother, this curse arrived on the eve of Thanksgiving.

My sister called.

“Mom doesn’t look well. The left side of her face is drooping and her words are slurring. I’m going to take her to the emergency room.”

She told me that during their FaceTime conversation with my niece, mom got up. She went to the bathroom. When she came back, she noticed her condition. I took the news calmly because she’s had minor strokes before where she ended up falling to the floor. This time, she was capable of walking to the car with my sister by her side. She later told me that she had no idea that anything had happened.

The next day she woke up in a hospital room, confused. She didn’t know why nor how she was there, and her left arm and left leg couldn’t move.

“You had a stroke on the right side of your brain in the area that controls the movement on the left side of your body,” the doctor explained. “It will take a while to get your motor function going again at your age, but you are quite healthy and have a good attitude. You should be moving soon with occupational and physical therapy.”

For two weeks, she stayed in the rehab wing of the hospital. When she came home, she saw her room was transformed with a fresh coat of paint, and it had all the things she would need to get her to a full recovery.

This was the best thing for her, for our whole family. We’ve always been tight knit but this has been a rallying moment, bringing us closer together. This moment has exposed our strengths and weaknesses, unspoken fears and hidden truths.

And just when I thought
healing season was over
it has just begun

Loupy D's avatar

By Loupy D

Lawrence Evan Dotson was born in Los Angeles, California. He decided early in life that he wanted to tell stories. He was a character who could entertain his two older sisters by staging his own version of a church radio broadcast that they would listen to on Sunday nights. His desire to perform followed him through grade school, and in his senior year of high school, a UCLA professor scouted and urged Lawrence to major in theater. Lawrence felt convicted to follow in the footsteps of his father, so instead of declaring Theater Arts as a freshman, he went in undeclared to sit out for a spot in the highly competitive Engineering Department. It only took one calculus class to convince Lawrence that Theater Arts was his calling and that he was going to achieve his goal of being recognized for his talents. While attending UCLA, he combined his interests in art and music and was one of the founders of the UCLA Jazz and Reggae Festival. He was on the Student Committee for the Arts, which put on the Jazz at the Wadsworth Series in conjunction with KKGO FM. Lawrence became more aware of social justice issues affecting the African American community on campus and became active in organizations that promoted positive change. He collaborated with students from other majors and formed the African Theater Collective, which promoted and produced plays from the African Diaspora. That action inspired a performance protest demanding the hiring of more black professors in the Theater Department, and tenure for longtime Professor, Dr. Beverly J. Robinson. The performance was based upon the subject matter that Dr. Robinson taught: the procession of the Black Theater experience in America as depicted through the development of the African slave from the plantations, to the pulpit, to the stage. Blessed with a wealth of knowledge and a rich experience from the University, Lawrence graduated and landed a job as an actor with University Express, an outreach program managed by a former student of Dr. Robinson. The troupe performed plays at Middle and High Schools that stressed the importance of continuing education. The job allowed him enough time to go on auditions, but after a year Lawrence burnt out on the acting treadmill. He met an editor for an underground Hip Hop magazine called No Sellout in 1991. Lawrence had his first article published in the second issue, an interview with L.A. DJ Michael Mixxin Moor. Lawrence began writing under “Loupy D”, coined from a childhood nickname. He wrote articles, reviews and commentary, and conducted interviews with some of Hip Hop’s top entertainers like The Notorious BIG, Wu Tang Clan, Erykah Badu and many others until 2003. In 2015, he earned an MFA in Creative Writing, after submitting a draft of a memoir based on his experiences growing up in post-Civil Rights Era Los Angeles. He's published an academic article, “Persona in Progression: A Look At Creative Nonfiction Literature In Civil Rights and Rap,” in Assay: A Journal of Nonfiction Studies. He also served a brief stint as the music editor for the online writing journal Drunk Monkeys. In between writing stints, Lawrence has and continues to be an avid amateur photographer and independent film professional. He will be releasing books and videos of his work over time, just as soon as he figures out how to balance work life with the life of single parenting two sons.

2 comments

  1. No one prepares us for the nuances of parenting our parents. We want them to live a long life, but underestimate all that comes with it. Watching them deteriorate, or worse, live their fears of what they imagined being old is, seems often like long suffering. I too, friend, am experiencing the challenges of life with my parents and being unable to financially or even physically help either. Every day is a reflection of what my past has introduced me to and my present is bringing me to. I will hold you in my prayers always as we continue this walk of life and navigate triumphant! Love you

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  2. Thanks for sharing my brother. Your story is not only touching but inspiring. May God richly bless you. Your friend for life( and a heck of a long time) Sharon Wilson Francisco.

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